Session 20: These Aren't Documents
This session was played on April 9th, 2022.
Roster
- Chadimer Putin - Assassin 1
- Gideon - Assassin 1
- Gino - Thief 1
Session Report
Day 1 – April 9
The session begins with the party reconnecting with the B Team, the same group responsible for burning a boat in the harbor and escaping with a member of the Council for Citizen’s Protection (CCP).
The CCP offers them two missions to prove their loyalty:
- Destroy sensitive documents about the King’s heritage in the Grand Archives.
- Eliminate a government official named Pepen Buttypeg and steal his seal.
After brief deliberation, the party chooses assassination.
They learn Pepen frequents the Pizza Peddler, the public showers, and is often seen with his right-hand man. Notably, he wears makeup—a fashion trend among nobles seeking higher office.
At 3 PM, the group stakes out the Pizza Peddler. The place is packed with 50–60 people, ping-pong tables for the city’s youth, and a “Cheese Pizza” promotion for premium members. They chat with a flutist who performs twice weekly. He confirms seeing Pepen occasionally but offers little else.
While waiting, the party questions a waitress and discovers the existence of expensive “back rooms” costing 100 gold per hour. Before long, Pepen arrives with four bodyguards and retreats to one of these rooms.
The party sets a plan:
- Gideon smokes outside as lookout.
- Gino waits across the street at the market.
- Chadimir stays inside, ready to trail Pepen.
After a long stakeout, at 10 PM, Pepen emerges drunk with his bodyguards and retreats to a nearby house. The party marks the location and withdraws.
Day 2 – April 10
The party spends the day recruiting muscle: two plumbers (Wario and Waluigi), three Russabelleons (Yuri, Slavi, and Nikkita), and two lumberjacks (Dexter and Harrison).
Chadimir quietly hands Slavi a backpack filled with oil flasks, claiming it contains sensitive documents. If things go south, he must burn it.
At 10 PM, the infiltration begins. Gideon scales the roof and spots a chimney leading to a barren upstairs room. Meanwhile, Chadimir successfully picks the front door lock. Inside, the house proves empty except for a rug covering a trapdoor to the cellar.
Descending, they encounter blind, mindless demons wandering aimlessly and quickly dispatch them. Soon after, they enter a chamber with four pillars and seven orcs.
The battle begins well but quickly turns grim. Yuri falls to -3 HP, and Chadimir collapses unconscious. Their hired mercenaries hold the line, but when Slavi is struck by an arrow, he panics. Remembering Chadimir’s order, he flees to the ladder, ignites the “document” backpack, and opens it—triggering a massive explosion. His last words: “THESE AREN’T DOCUMENTS!”
The blast kills Slavi instantly. The remaining mercenaries finish five orcs, and the last two flee. The party recovers 5 potions and 10 gems but is left battered and near death. Two members are a single hit away from falling. They retreat, leaving the mystery of the “house” unresolved.
Aftermath
Spoils
35 electrums 10 gems [sell for 1420 gold] 5 potions [send to patron Joe Biden to be identified]
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